i was stressed to the max, hair and makeup, family & friends arrived earlier than expected & the photographer later than what was needed. there was so much to do with so very little time to breath.
when my mum arrived all she could do was comment on how wonderful j's sister looked. she just went on and on about the flower in her hair, her clothes and makeup. "look how beautiful she is... why don't you have a flower in your hair?"
i don't know why, but this upset me beyond belief. i know my mum didn't mean anything by it, she probably just questioned my choice of makeup etc. because she wanted the best for me, but it hurt just the same. to me this was meant to be my special day, but instead it felt like i was not good enough in her eyes.
holding back the tears i just looked at myself in the mirror and thought, i don't care who else is beautiful. when j' sees me i know he will think i am beautiful.... and he did.
when i saw him waiting for me down the isle, i looked into his eyes & as soon as i did my body just started to shake & before i knew it i was in tears. there was so much i wanted to tell him. how much i was hurting that morning, how much i loved & missed him, & just how glad i was to see him.
when i finally got to hold his hand, i knew that it wasn't enough. i needed him to take me in his arms and tell me all the things he would usually tell me to when ever i was feeling down.
time stood still & everything was a blur but reality set in when during our vows, & to my surprise, j started to cry.... i had never seen this side of him before & it just brought me even closer to him. all i know is at that point in time my love for him grew even more.
the rest of the day went according to plan, i enjoyed every moment of it & even though it had a bumpy start. the ending was spectacular.